Tag Archives: update

Returning Once More

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Holy moly, it’s been a while.

I think the last time I updated this thing was (checks watch) 2017!  Wow, seven years really flies by when you’re having fun.

So, to be brief, I’d like to tell you what’s been going on (bear with me, there’s quite a bit):

For starters, I’ve got a full-time job that I love.  Working with both my coworkers and vendors is an enjoyable experience, and the work itself is something that my unfocused brain can easily grasp, organize, and process.  I’ve even written some documents outlining my job’s ins and outs for the company’s position (not officially, but my superiors are actually sharing it around to help new people).

I’ve also been writing A LOT.  In addition to my To Aru universe fanfiction and that old Albel Academy story (both of which I haven’t updated recently), I have a Touhou universe fanfiction that is up to seven chapters, as well as two original stories that I have been excitedly working on for the past year.  The main one I’ve been focused on is at seven chapters as well, though I plan to release the chapters over a few weeks once it’s done.

In addition to writing stories, I have been thoroughly revamping some of my tabletop games; two in particular I have grown quite attached to, in part because they are somewhat related to the stories.  I’ve gotten most of the mechanics figured out, but there’s still a lot of work to do before they are playable in any capacity.  With how much I’ve been working on these, I’m a little surprised I haven’t burned out yet (knock on wood).

Other than those endeavors, I’ve been slowly catching up on my backlog of anime and manga, though my game backlog is still pretty much untouched.  I was finally able to play Payday 2 with a friend, though, so I see that as a major plus!

I still plan on posting reviews here – both the quick season posts and the in-depth reviews, especially the Kizumonogatari one I promised all of those years ago.  By the way, can you believe we’ve gotten Off Season and Monster Season in anime format?!

To summarize my intentions going forward, I think I’d like to start updating this blog again at a gentle pace, maybe like two to four posts a month.  Now that I have a pretty set schedule for my work, friends, family, and hobbies, I think I can be more consistent in updating this.  I’m probably going to do a review post (probably on Kaiju No 8 or Kizu) and a progress post on the favorite story I’m working on, where I’ll follow in the footsteps of the brilliant writer L.G. Estrella and give you more detailed info on it, such as word count, chapters, and maybe even sneak peeks.

Because I now pay for all of my streaming services, I will be getting most of my anime review material from Crunchyroll or HiDive releases, but there is always a new series dropping on other services, so I’ll try to stay diligent.  I’m also watching series on a regular basis again, so I may be able to give more variety than just SoL and Yuri.

I’m excited to come back here, so hopefully you’ll be happy to join me on this restarted journey!

Tadaima,

Marcosias A. Isif

Testing Tabletops (that are no longer supported)

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I figure it’s about time to give you guys an explanation on why I haven’t posted anything recently (besides the rants I know ALL my readers come for).  To be honest, I have no excuses – I’ve just been putting it off.  I haven’t done much of anything, honestly – summer’s here, and it’s too hot to breathe without becoming exhausted.

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Stolen shamelessly from: http://lregnier.weebly.com/tabletop-rpg-club.html

But now that it’s below 70, I figured I should post something.  Sadly, I don’t have the energy to write a review of a game, and most anime of the last three seasons I’m still catching up on, or haven’t rewatched to write a review.

That leaves Tabletop… or art.  and I’m not really drawing when my sweat binds my arm to my book.

Continue reading →

I need to speak

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Want some fish?

Art by Rebecca (Keinelove) Kaga from KanColle

 

Hello to all who read this. As you probably know, my name is Marcosias, and I’m the author of this blog.

As is no doubt aware from the sporadic posts and broad nature of said posts, I am fairly bad at keeping schedules. There are many things that I want to post about, but I either forget or lack the drive to do so consistently. This post is to address exactly why.

Apologies in advance if the writing starts to tangent, but I need to put these thoughts somewhere.
As some of my readers and friends may know, I have Major Depressive Disorder, also called major depression. This means that, at random times, I may suddenly feel a sense of loneliness, self-depravity, or inferiority – sometimes this has a trigger, sometimes it just happens. But at all times, it is an inconvenience to me.

In the past 7 years, I have attempted suicide upwards of ten times – the most drastic of which being November and December 2014, where I was admitted to the ER by police escorts twice in the course of two months. During this time, I was under watch for about 5 days, where I stayed in the hospital.

While I haven’t tried anything in the past year or so, I constantly think about it. In those thoughts, the idea of being useless, never achieving my goals, financial worries, and fear of failure constantly take over. The term “struggling with depression” doesn’t seem to fit; struggling implies I think I have a chance to get past it. In my case, at the very least, I never feel truly better.

To try and combat these symptoms, I try to laugh a lot, even going so far as to fake smiles and laughs. I make daily goals on getting people to smile, whether its my friends, coworkers, family, or even strangers that I see on the street. My friends think that I’ve improved – I’ve got a new job that I like, I have some games that I spend my free time on, and I even started making a new TRPG that seems to be working out all right.

But in all honesty, it feels like I’m just lying.

Even when I laugh uncontrollably at Markiplier, or see a touching scene in a movie or anime, I can’t stop thinking about how the world would be a better place without me. I’m wasteful, passive, spiteful, and harsh, and to be honest, I hate everyone that I meet.

… For the most part.

The thing about depression is, even when you know the feelings of uselessness and inferiority are untrue, you cannot stop believing them. Its as if you were told it from the day you were born, and no one ever corrected it.
I constantly feel sick to my stomach just looking in the mirror, and I can never stop thinking that my friends just pretend to put up with me.

I want to scream as loud as I can, for as long as I can.

I want to punch someone or something as hard as I can.

I want to hurt everyone, including myself.

But, because that is looked down upon by society, I grit my teeth into a smile and bottle it up. It hurts to feel like this, but being unable to cry. To forget things constantly, but always remember the bad things.

To hurt the ones you love, when you just want to die.

Now to clarify, I’m not telling you to go out and shout how you want to commit suicide. I’m not condoning it, nor am I saying that everyone with depression feels the same way. Like all of my posts, this is how I, personally, feel [when I’m depressed].

Sorry for speaking so much, but I needed to say this. To everyone who reads my posts, thanks for sticking with me. Reviews for Zestiria X, Zestiria the Game, Berseria, and the Monogatari series are coming soon, with other reviews possibly in between.

Thanks everyone…

-Marcosias A. Isif

Anime Review: Charlotte

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It’s been a bit since my last post (but not nearly as long as some of them), so I figured I’d start writing this post while the anime is fresh in my mind. I will point out that this review may have spoilers, so readers, beware.

Strike a pose~

Four of the main characters of this beautiful show.

Here is a synopsis from Wikipedia, since I suck at describing:

Charlotte (シャーロット Shārotto?) is a 13-episode Japanese anime television series produced by P.A.Works and Aniplex and directed by Yoshiyuki Asai. The anime aired in Japan between July 5 and September 27, 2015. An original video animation episode was released in March 2016. Two manga series are serialized in ASCII Media Works’ Dengeki G’s Comic. The story takes place in an alternate reality where a small percentage of children manifest superhuman abilities upon reaching puberty. A focus is placed on Yuu Otosaka, a high school boy who awakens the ability to temporarily possess others, which brings him to the attention of Nao Tomori, the student council president of a school founded as a haven for children with such abilities.

While I will try my hardest not to put spoilers in this review, I will say that this show is better experienced knowing less. So once again:

    POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD

All right, so down to brass tacks. Is this show “good”?
In short, I would say that it’s one of the best (if not the best) show this anime season – while I do enjoy Slice-Of-Life shows with bits of comedy, or hyper-violent series with emphasis on psycho-horror, this show falls more into the “Clannad” category of emotional trauma.
And by that, I mean that I actually cried.

That’s not to say that this show is all feels – rather, as stated above, it’s a Superteens show, with happy moments and dark twists. But without ruining the ending, everything ties up fairly neatly – there is not an “ending for a second season”, or even “what about this or that?” ending.
I feel that the ending closes everything nicely, even regarding my one problem with this series regarding the younger sister (which I won’t state).

But enough ranting about how I love it. Let’s review the show as a whole.

Plot: 9 out of 10
When I like a show, it’s usually superficial (as in, I like one character who seems to be the coolest character in the universe). But this show has thirteen episodes – and unlike a lot of shows, it feels like not a single one is wasted. As I stated before, everything seems to wrap up nicely, with the main character showing extremely dynamic growth through the show. The side characters have their own little growths here and there, but this story seems to know that it wants the main characters to stay that way – instead of fading into the background like in other shows. Even considering this, the one moment regarding Ayumi forces me to drop this grade by a point, but otherwise, I think this show nailed it.

Character Development: 5 out of 5
Like with the Plot segment, I have to give this show credit for its use of characters. None of the major characters seem to be forgettable, but the show still manages to keep focus on the “main” characters: Yuu and Nao. By episode 6, you think you’ve figured everyone out, but the show throws a curve ball, going deeper for character development than I’ve ever seen. I can’t genuinely state a single major character that I disliked.

Art / Acting: 9 out of 10
Let me say this: I absolutely LOVE P.A. Works. Every series I have seen them involved with has beautiful animation and powerful, accurate acting – the problem is, the series’ usually end up very boring halfway through (Hanasaku Iroha, RDG, Another… etc). However, this one had all of the above points; not only that, but every character seemed to have their own reason for using their powers… which makes some of the scenes a little more than upsetting (specifically during the last episodes).

Rewatch Value: 7 out of 10
If I am to give any low scores to this show, it would be here. While I did enjoy the show, it isn’t something I would watch over and over because of that. If anything, I would rather watch it again to clarify anything I may have missed (for instance, if the name Charlotte actually appeared before Episode 6…). But then again, I don’t like rewatching many series. My advice to you: take your time with this series. Otherwise, you’ll feel empty inside by the time you reach Episode 9. Trust me.

Overall Rating: 49 out of 50
A+

With the one problem I have with this show, I can’t knowingly give it full marks. However, I have to admit that I absolutely loved this show. Never since Clannad: After Story have I shed an actual tear for a show or movie, but this show did its storytelling right. From the characters to the events, from the animation to the actors, and from beginning to end, this show was absolutely amazing. As I said before, I tried very hard not to put spoilers in this review, but I know that there are some things that are easier to tell now rather than later.

While I don’t know of any discs available outside of Japan and Australia, it seems like most streaming sites (excluding Netflix and Youtube) seem to have it – including Hulu. I wholeheartedly recommend this show to anyone and everyone who enjoys Superteen series (or people looking to jump into the genre). Just be prepared for the last two episodes… actually, just prepare yourself for the whole show.