Update Diary: Hell/Dolls (January 19, 2025)

Today, another update on the webnovel to-be!  I’ve been working very hard on progressing the novel in my free time, though it may mean that my reviews are starting to become harder to complete…

In any case, here’s the current stats on the story:

Current Chapter: 9

Pages: 102

Total Word Count: 47,222

I’ve also started using some apps to help me find problems with my story: specifically “tome” and “AutoCrit”.

I’ve been using tome sparingly, but it helps me clarify my goals for the story, character motivations, and basic flow.  To be honest, I’ve mainly been writing this stuff down and addressing inconsistencies with it.

AutoCrit, on the other hand, I’ve started using at the start of this year.  I upload the document, analyze it in various parts, and the program tells me what my plot points are for each chapter, inconsistencies, plot threads that remain unexplored, and character points that have been and need to be addressed.  There are things that AutoCrit gets wrong, and items that it doesn’t quite understand correctly, but overall it helps me identify problems with the story as I write (though when I upload incomplete chapters, it is annoying when it points out that threads I’m working on are not resolved).

Regarding the story itself, chapters 8 and 9 shift the focus from the main character, Vincent, to a couple of the supporting characters.  I might edit how these chapters flow by the time I release chapters 0 and 1, since it’s a little jarring as of now.  We’ll see.

I am PAINFULLY aware that I am late on this post, so apologies in advance.  I still have at least two reviews to complete for content this month, so stay tuned for those.

Update Diary: Hell/Dolls (11/20/2024)

Hello, everyone!

I decided that my first progress post should be dedicated to a project that’s been about 8 years in the making: Hell/Dolls.  This story is one I’ve held close to my chest, in part because I made the characters and world during high school, and I’ve been able to repolish the plot enough to build a coherent story.

Current Chapter: 7 (plus a prelude)

Pages: 80

Total Word Count: 37,185

In all honesty, the title should probably be reworked, but I’m both stubborn and lazy – too much to change it until the first story is done.

Here is a basic synopsis of the story:

Hell/Dolls takes place in the world of Kiria, a magic land ravaged by malevolent creatures called Baael.  In this story, Vincent Laverse is a former insurgent from a corrupt (and fake) military, and struggles to find a place of his own.  He learns of a missive that allows him to lead a group looking to protect the citizens of a city-state, and gains knowledge and skills alongside his new team.

I’ve been working on this particular iteration of the story for just under a year, though much of what is covered in this story is prequel to the original material I had created back in high school.  It is coming together slowly, but I think with the newly-designed parts and the corrections from my original ideas, this story is coming out just as I want it to.  I tend to listen to it as a Read-Aloud to catch grammatical mistakes that Word misses (yes, I know there are programs and apps out there to do this, but I still prefer Word).

A few more points I want to address, partly because this is my first big post in a looong time, and partly because I feel so passionate about this project.

First: Why is it called “Hell/Dolls”?  And why the slash?

The name Hell/Dolls actually came from a point late in the story, where a character calls his creations based off of the antagonistic creatures “The Hell Dolls” (the creatures in question are Baael; magic and ethereal beings that cause destruction).  This early in the story, however, the name is just a placeholder until that scene comes up… which probably won’t be for a while.  Regarding the slash between the two words, anyone who’s read my blog knows I love anime and manga; one common way of separating words in titles is a slash (another is an x).  In short, these naming points are just because it felt cool when I was younger, and I still really like the name.

Second: Are the chapters going to be available like Touhou, or is it going to be released all at once?

At the current time, I am still debating releasing the chapters for free, though I would like to at least release the first few to get readers engaged with the story.  Ideally, I want to release this story as a real novel when it’s completed, but I realize that a no-name artist popping up from the middle of the arctic desert probably won’t get much traction.  For now, I would like to release the first two chapters (including the prelude) for free when I feel comfortable with where they are.  More than likely, I’ll either drop them on FictionPress or another site… but again, I’m undecided for now.

Third: How long will it take to complete the current “book”?

Because I don’t have a set schedule for writing (I’m currently doing it in my free time, between work, joy-giving experiences, and family), there is no set period for when the book, or even the current chapter, will be done.  As of this moment, each chapter is running about 13 pages, and I usually do about half a page per session (sometimes up to 3 pages, sometimes as little as a single line).  This is not my ideal, and is probably not sustainable, but it is how I tend to work on bigger projects.  With the given pace I’ve been working at, including reviewing and extended breaks, I think I may be done with the first book’s main draft by this time next year – but don’t hold me to that.

Fourth: Will you be updating the progress like this every week / month / year?

I will probably focus on a monthly or half-month check-in on the progress, depending on how much I get done.  The updates probably won’t be as detailed or long-winded as this one, but I will do my best to keep to a schedule.  I would actually like to do an update every month on the 15th, but as I said earlier, my schedule for writing is sporadic at current.

If people start commenting on the blog with questions about the story, I may start doing an *actual* Q&A in these posts.  Until then, please expect regular updates on my progress.

That’s all for now,

Marcosias A. Isif

I need to speak

Want some fish?

Art by Rebecca (Keinelove) Kaga from KanColle

 

Hello to all who read this. As you probably know, my name is Marcosias, and I’m the author of this blog.

As is no doubt aware from the sporadic posts and broad nature of said posts, I am fairly bad at keeping schedules. There are many things that I want to post about, but I either forget or lack the drive to do so consistently. This post is to address exactly why.

Apologies in advance if the writing starts to tangent, but I need to put these thoughts somewhere.
As some of my readers and friends may know, I have Major Depressive Disorder, also called major depression. This means that, at random times, I may suddenly feel a sense of loneliness, self-depravity, or inferiority – sometimes this has a trigger, sometimes it just happens. But at all times, it is an inconvenience to me.

In the past 7 years, I have attempted suicide upwards of ten times – the most drastic of which being November and December 2014, where I was admitted to the ER by police escorts twice in the course of two months. During this time, I was under watch for about 5 days, where I stayed in the hospital.

While I haven’t tried anything in the past year or so, I constantly think about it. In those thoughts, the idea of being useless, never achieving my goals, financial worries, and fear of failure constantly take over. The term “struggling with depression” doesn’t seem to fit; struggling implies I think I have a chance to get past it. In my case, at the very least, I never feel truly better.

To try and combat these symptoms, I try to laugh a lot, even going so far as to fake smiles and laughs. I make daily goals on getting people to smile, whether its my friends, coworkers, family, or even strangers that I see on the street. My friends think that I’ve improved – I’ve got a new job that I like, I have some games that I spend my free time on, and I even started making a new TRPG that seems to be working out all right.

But in all honesty, it feels like I’m just lying.

Even when I laugh uncontrollably at Markiplier, or see a touching scene in a movie or anime, I can’t stop thinking about how the world would be a better place without me. I’m wasteful, passive, spiteful, and harsh, and to be honest, I hate everyone that I meet.

… For the most part.

The thing about depression is, even when you know the feelings of uselessness and inferiority are untrue, you cannot stop believing them. Its as if you were told it from the day you were born, and no one ever corrected it.
I constantly feel sick to my stomach just looking in the mirror, and I can never stop thinking that my friends just pretend to put up with me.

I want to scream as loud as I can, for as long as I can.

I want to punch someone or something as hard as I can.

I want to hurt everyone, including myself.

But, because that is looked down upon by society, I grit my teeth into a smile and bottle it up. It hurts to feel like this, but being unable to cry. To forget things constantly, but always remember the bad things.

To hurt the ones you love, when you just want to die.

Now to clarify, I’m not telling you to go out and shout how you want to commit suicide. I’m not condoning it, nor am I saying that everyone with depression feels the same way. Like all of my posts, this is how I, personally, feel [when I’m depressed].

Sorry for speaking so much, but I needed to say this. To everyone who reads my posts, thanks for sticking with me. Reviews for Zestiria X, Zestiria the Game, Berseria, and the Monogatari series are coming soon, with other reviews possibly in between.

Thanks everyone…

-Marcosias A. Isif

Visual Novels are the new…novels

You read right: Visual Novels.  I don’t talk about them much even though I am a fan of Japanese culture / anime / manga, but I am a huge fan of VNs.  I even wrote one back when Katawa Shoujo was only in Act I (I was unable to work on it, though, as my laptop killed itself).
But I digress: the reason I suddenly bring up the phrase is because I am asking you.  The reader.  The Internet.  That lonely kid in the corner who has The Voice of God.

I need your help.
I have come up with a (rinsed, but solid) plot for a VN, and I am looking for helpers.  I have the software, I have the idea, and now I need the manpower (or womanpower). Currently, the things I need help with are as follows:

•Cowriter(s).  I have a basic idea and a starting point, but that’s it.

•Composer(s).  If I’ve learned anything from using a Mac for 7 years, it’s that I can’t use Music programs worth a flying shit.

•Character Designer(s).  This is a maybe, as I can draw fairly well, and I have started using a tablet for my Mac.  It’s always cool to have multiple art styles and views, though.

•Someone with programming skills.  I am relearning how to use Ren’Py, but some of the things I’m doing might take me a while to learn… or never.

•Beta Testers.  Obviously, we’ll need some VN Gamers who are willing to test it out, based on the genre of the game.  They will also help determine the game’s rating.

•Voice Actors.  This will probably be the most fun, and the most difficult (aside from programming).  People with talent to voice one of the 20+ characters I have planned will be a great help.  This is not a necessity, nor do I truly know if I can add voices to this.

•Photographers.  This goes hand-in-hand with artists, but real photographs of Japan will give the game more realistic values.

Just so I’m clear, this project is completely nonprofit.  This is due to a couple reasons, but mainly because I am unable to pay minimum wage for two people, let alone for approximately 30 people at a regular rate.  This is purely a charity project, unless we can come up with a way that everyone gets paid.

Currently, I have enlisted four potential voice roles (but that part will come much later).  At the very least, I’d like help planning the story a little better than I already have.

If you do want to help out, just send me an email, a tweet, a post, a SMS, or anything to let me know that you’re interested.  My information is below.  I will start a page for the Visual Novel(s) on this blog (and the Moronic Spasms one, if it becomes more popular).
Thanks in advance to those who want to help.

~Marcosias B.

Email: marcosiasisif@gmail.com
Phone: (907)347-8885
Twitter: Marcosias Isif @DemonEvangeline
deviantArt: MarcosiasIsif
Facebook: Marcosias Adam Bowman

Where I’ve Been

‘Sup, all?

I’m very sorry that my posts have been diminishing at a (not really) alarming rate, but I have been decieved by my internet, which has just come back to me. Sorry for the wait.

In other news, there isn’t really any other news. I haven’t really done much of any drawing lately, and my stories are in a huge, crap-filled rut right now. However, I do have some suggestions for you entertainment seekers.

~For you game lovers, check out the latest installment of Resident Evil, or if you’re more for non-horror-style violence, COD (available 11/2/2012).

~For you anime lovers that watch subbed anime on random sites, just check out the subbers that make it happen! (Note, these fansub groups are among MY favorites, not widely accepted. Be warned.)
-Evetaku~ A little bit of EVErything oTAKU! (http://evetaku.com/blog/)
-Underwater~ One rainy day… (http://underwater.nyaatorrents.org/?nav=blog)
-Mazui~ [No subtitles] (http://mazuisubs.com/)
-Sakura Circle~ The Pinkest Fansubbing (http://sakuracircle.info)

Just so you know, the last one is very new to me, and seems to be a bit behind on their releases, compared to Mazui or Evetaku. And these are just my top groups, discluding Adohomo Subs, Coalguys/Coalgirls, and AnimeShoko…
And just in case you ever get bored, a list of 100 anime laws that cracked me up the first 20 times.100 Rules of Anime