So, fuck. I meant to post this last week, but, hey, shit happens.

So, hey, it’s been a little while. But then, this post isn’t for chat. This is… Game Review Friday!!! I have decided that starting this week, I will post a review of a game that I have recently played (or beaten >3>;) every two weeks. I will present the content in a way that is TOTALLY unbiased and fair, and not based on the opinions of others and their peers that I read online at the game’s wiki… Totally.

Anyway, here’s the first game I will review: Borderlands 2.

Borderlands 2: Hyperion Strikes Back

Borderlands 2 came out a while ago, but I’ve only recently completed it, due to the many little frustrations, the time-consuming effort to kill and revive, and the difficulty to decide which weapon I wanted to get rid of to get the new, godlike weapon. When I first started playing, I (like many others, I believe) chose to play as Zer0. I mean come on, what’s not to like about a ninja that can turn invisible and use a freaking KODACHI?! But as I played the game, I realized that some of the abilities shown in his opening video were near the END of his skill tree, which seemed pretty tedious, even for the badass assassin.

So, after I got to Level 14, I decided to look at the other characters – mind you, I had already gotten a bunch of Microsoft points and the Season Pass, so I decided to use the newest character to the fray, Gaige the Mechromancer. She’s hysterically violent, cocky, and owns a FREAKIN’ ROBOT DESTROYER! So, I played through my first entire playthrough with Gaige, learning that I probably rely too much on Deathtrap and Shield Damage too much.

I digress. Next: the gameplay. As I said, I have only used two of the five chracters, so an unbiased view of this game’s play will be a little difficult, although I believe that all the characters are from the same cloth, more or less. As I love First Person Shooters and Role Playing Games, Borderlands 2 was a bifecta on my “To-Play” list. The game offers not only a wide variety of guns, shields and other crap to kill stuff with, but also intruguing characters, vivid environments, and a dickhole antagonist that just won’t give up. For people who have a hard time getting through games without ironside aiming, the game takes care of that too; a crosshair for guns in general, plus a nice zoom effect for all guns (even better for sniper rifles). There are even some special, secret guns that are complete dicks to you, even though all you did was reload.

Back to the general game, Borderlands 2 makes great use of things like side missions and experience farming. Even so, if you aren’t prepared for what the game can throw at you, YOU. WILL. DIE. (Seriously). The main story follows the Vault Hunters who have just arrived on Pandora, greeted by a Hyperion train and an explosive welcome, all complements of a dickhole tyrant known as Handsome Jack (the same dickhole I referred to earlier). His job is to make sure you don’t get work, and he assures this by sending thousands upon thousands of malevolent robots, soldiers, and creatures to find and kill you. If that weren’t bad enough, there are millions more creatures that also want your untimely demise. And still worse off- Claptrap is here.

But there is a silver lining- You are the champion. You are a god. You… Are The Vault Hunter.